


Get off, Boy

by RuneOak



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Banter, Canon Compliant, Dialogue-Only, Episode Related, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:49:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1500827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuneOak/pseuds/RuneOak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode coda for S01E02 'Valiant'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get off, Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me, being efficient and cleaning up. This was perhaps my first piece of fanwork, for an artwork by **manitrix**. Original post (and art) [HERE](http://manitrix.livejournal.com/1868.html#comments)

"Stop it, Merlin. I'm perfectly fine -"

"Oh I think the river of blood flowing down your leg begs to differ - "

"Its hardly a river, Merlin. Didn’t you see Valiant's wound - "

"Oh I did. I also happened to notice that he was dead - "

"Yes and good riddance but I don’t need - "

"Look we're here already, just let Gaius take a look. That’s all I'm saying."

"You're being a giant girl - "

"Gaius? Gaius!"

"See? He's not here. I have to get ready for my feast - "

"I'm sure he'll be along in a second - "

"Wuff!"

"…"

"What was that?"

"…I'd forgotten about that.."

"Woof! Woof!"

"Its coming from your room, Merlin."

"Oh, its nothing, Sire. I wouldn’t really worry about - where are you going?"

"Why is your door locked, Merlin?"

"Erm…"

"…"

"…"

"…right then."

"NO DON’T OPEN - "

"WOOF! WOOF!" 

"AAAA…. - "

"WOOF! WOOF! Grrr…"

"Get it off me! Oh gods, its going to eat me! Get off boy!"

"Its just a dog, Merlin. Its not going to kill you. Here, boy. C'mere… That's it… Now, sit."

"…"

"See, Merlin? Where did you get a dog anyway?"

"Umm, I just found it in the courtyard…?"

"You just found it. How do you just find a well bred dog in Camelot? The only dogs are in the royal pounds."

"…"

"Actually, this one looks… there's something about it…"

"Oh not this again."

"What?

"Nothing look I'll just - "

"Woof! Woof! Grr..."

"There there, boy… Yeah I know, I don’t like Merlin much either."

"Oh very funny, Arthur. How does it like you anyway?"

"Everyone likes me, Merlin."

"Its so not fair! I was the one who made him."

"You made him?"

"Umm.. I made him my pet! That's obviously what I meant."

"Yes, but you are the most incompetent man I know, I'm sure you failed supremely at this as well."

"Don't be such a prat, Sire."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Whatever. Look, Gaius is probably out on rounds again, I'll just…"

"Yes, Sire. You'd better go. I'm sure you're fine."

"…"

"…why are you looking at me like that?"

"You were not so compliant a few minutes ago."

"Oh well, you are a great warrior, Sire. Someday you shall be a great king! I'm sure you can deal with a few drops of blood."

"…"

"…"

"…I'll never understand you, Merlin. Just be on time to the feast."

"Right, Sire. Your wish is my command."

"…"

"Right. Time to turn you back to stone. You're not going to take all night for that too, are you?"

"Woof!"

"Here goes… _Berbay odothey arisan quickem!_

"Woof!"

"Damn."


End file.
